Elephant:
1 : any of a family (Elephantidae, the elephant family) of thickset usually extremely large nearly hairless herbivorous mammals that have a snout elongated into a muscular trunk and two incisors in the upper jaw developed especially in the male into large ivory tusks and that include two living forms and various extinct relatives
2 : one that is uncommonly large or hard to manage.
Upcoming Events:
08/01/20XX - T's B'day
14/01/20XX - Babah's B'day
08/03/20XX - Me & Poji's B'day
26/03/20XX - Mummy's B'day
15/04/2003 - GF's 1st day at Work
08/05/20XX - +1 yr relationship wif T
11/05/2003 - Aussie Mother's Day
03/05/20XX - Jijoy's B'day
23/06/20XX - Jilah's B'day
07/09/2003 - GF's Grad. Anniv.
07/11/20XX - "Cutey-Pie" Alai B'day
I was anticipating for an sms from T last night before I sleep. Twisting and turning and watching my phone hoping it to 'beep' for a new message. I rang her a couple of times using my HiCard but she had confirmed me a while ago that she was asleep. I called T a few minutes ago coz I miss her. She's in the office. I wanted to tell her that I was thinking about last night's event that I've remembered about, but I just forgot. Seemingly after hearing her voice, everything I wanted to tell just been forgotten.
Last night's rest was not satisfactory. The resident next door was despickably noisy and selfish. I found myself awake at 5AM when I heard laughter and all. But I got better somewhere at 6 something. I woke up at 9AM and head directly to the balcony to find two guys trying to open the door of a car at the back of the Saville Hotel building. I wanted to call 000 for a cop to investigate but I just held my thoughts. "M-Y-O-B" I said to myself. So I ended up calling the building manager for a lift access at 3PM today instead. So now that everything is settled, I might just have a good rest.
Log written on a notepad on the 28, May @05:30PM.
No luck today. We can't move our things at MCA. The time like this made myself clear about who's a friend in the time of need and who are those merely just friends. It's unfortunate that no one is there if you need them the most. But I'm greatful I'm not having times like this alone. At least Poji and I are together.
I pity babah mummy for having them feeling the same way. We all thought we'll have all these bitter moments (financial disputes, relative disputes and all) will be over. But I guess I was wrong. All I have was thinking positive by all of this. But when will all of these be over?, I questioned.
I remembered today's uh.. yesterday actually, the birth of Zizie, T's brother. I can still recall the night when I called her at the Hospital. We've had a good talk about our day and stuffs. I can still smell the scent of Versace Blue perfume which I've sprayed to my room that night. Yeps, those were the times when Versace was very much popular.. classy. Anyway, reflecting back to the night of 27th May. T and I, we've just been knowing each other through phone. I knew I had nothing to say, really, but I just have to call. I was heart-broken, depressed and lonely. She was the only one who had me enlightened and entertained. She gave me hopes of which I had never found in any of my past relationships. I knew immediately that she is the one.
I've tried calling through my "HiCard" from Singapore. But the damn line had been cut off after 2 rings. So much for "Roaming". I'm still waiting for her sms as I try to stay away from thinking too much by looking forward for tomorrow. Oh oh! about tomorrow, at noon, we'll be moving stuffs till late night. We've rented Tarago at Thrifty Rentals, cost about AUD$121 for 24hrs. It's going to be a very busy day tomorrow. (And I should be resting by now!).
A word:
I wish you knew what I have in mind everytime I lay on my "bed" as I watch the cityscape. Only I know how much you mean to me, and how much I care. It may not seem much to you. But to me, you are worth the whole sacrifices I've made throughout the years. I love you. If only you knew...
Totally broke and helpless. What can I do but to wait. Maths test was just over yesterday. Hopefully, I wish for a pass which should be OK. I didn't expect to have high D for it. Coz of things which was unexpectable a few months ago. Now I'm off thinking for my field placement at Hopetoun CC, in Flemington.
T was making quite a few changes in life nowadays. I kept on wondering about the things we've done together. This attachment and bonding has made life complicated coz I miss her so much. Sometimes I hate her for making me wait for her sms-es. Other times, she's like a healing for my worries and fears. Yesterday for example, she's been sms-ing me for a few time, everytime and everywhere she goes. But today, no sms of her in the morning. I've always been looking at my 8210 for any "1 new message(s)", a kind of semangat for the day, every morning.
If only you knew how much I need you, you won't ever let me go.
- - - - - -
Last night, Poji and I went to B6 to check on our carpark, number 2212. We went searching up and around levels downstairs, we've asked the parking attendent but nothing. Until we figured it out in the lift which says something like "Car residential parking. B6, use keypass" bla bla bla. Heh.. so much of searching around when it's actually under your nose. I figured that if I own a car, it would be great. Coz our space was the only one empty.
I'm broke..totally. Not even a cent. The worst of all, I've got Teaching Primary Maths test tomorrow. How the hell could I find the money to buy the tram ticket?
Last night I've just realize that I've ran-out of credit. I was waiting for T's reply but none. I slept with one side facing the city horizon at my window, wondering about myself, T, my studies, money, and ... money. But lots of time I wonder about T with 8210 in my hand. Wondering about the sms she've sent me. So read through all sms that she've sent me and pondering a few words and messages:
Those times were a bit critical coz I was awfully and absolutely broke to the toe. I was expecting her sms the whole evening and night. Worried? of course I was. I held the phone hoping it would beep and found your message. I wish that she knows the pain of waiting and anticipating something important.
Sms sent 24th May@22:29 (Bn. time)
"udah tah bah pikir mcm2 saja ani abg.inda jua t***** kn meninggalkan abg.kenapa suka assume labih2 ani kn? why make life complicated? cuba tah b happy jua."
Life is complicated when you're distance away from me. After all, this communication barrier adds much to it. So imagine how my life is like in here? Every day missing and wondering around about you. I'll get worried sick if your sms is not present.
--Syg, how can I be happy when my happy life is with you? I needed your support me and stand by me to get through this. I wonder myself whether what I'm doing here is worthed.
A while ago, T have just smsed telling me that she'll be going to accompany Babu to the hairsaloon. She promised me smses where ever she goes. I ask myself not to make a great expectation. Not that I don't trust her, but a precaution for myself of what lies ahead. I don't want to be hurt.
Current playlist: Minnie Riperton - Lovin' you1975
